Introduction
Avoidance has a price.
You may not see the charge immediately. It won’t show up on your bank statement or trigger a late fee. But over time, the cost compounds.
Avoidance costs clarity.
It costs agency.
It costs energy.
It costs options.
If you’ve been avoiding your finances—ignoring statements, pushing off planning, hoping things will “sort themselves out”—you’re not alone. You’re also not broken.0
This post isn’t about shaming you into action. It’s about naming what avoidance is really doing beneath the surface—and offering a way forward that doesn’t require guilt, spreadsheets, or a sudden identity shift.
What Financial Avoidance Looks Like
Avoidance isn’t always dramatic. It often wears a quieter face:
You stop opening email from your bank.
You delay checking your account until payday.
You avoid logging into debt portals because the numbers feel too big.
You keep making minimum payments, hoping it’s “good enough.”
You know you’re overspending, but feel paralyzed to adjust.
You wait for the next windfall instead of looking at the whole picture.
And the most common one:
You tell yourself, “I’ll deal with it when things calm down.”
The truth is, avoidance rarely comes from laziness. It comes from fear.
What It’s Actually Costing You
When you avoid your money, the financial cost is only part of the equation. The invisible costs often weigh more heavily:
1. Mental Load
Even when you’re not looking at the numbers, they’re still running in the background of your mind—adding noise, tension, and distraction.
2. Erosion of Self-Trust
Every time you avoid what you know you need to face, you chip away at your internal confidence. The voice that says “I’m capable” gets quieter.
3. Lost Opportunities
Avoidance delays savings. Delays investments. Delays conversations. You miss the compounding benefit of action, even small action.
4. Emotional Exhaustion
You start living in reaction mode—always catching up, never ahead. Your nervous system stays in low-grade alert.
5. Decision Fatigue
Without a plan, every choice becomes a new decision. What to spend. When to pay. How to navigate surprise bills. This leads to burnout.
You’re Already Paying for Avoidance. Let’s Stop the Tab From Climbing.
Step 1: Name What You’re Avoiding—and Why
Most people aren’t avoiding everything. They’re avoiding something specific:
A number they don’t want to see
A decision they don’t want to make
A truth they don’t want to admit
A habit they don’t want to face
A conversation they don’t want to have
Start there. Write it down. No judgment.
Then ask:
What am I afraid will happen if I face this?
What am I afraid it says about me?
What would change if I faced it—with compassion instead of criticism?
Clarity starts with honesty. Not spreadsheets—just awareness.
Step 2: Create a No-Shame Money Check-In Ritual
If your only interaction with your finances is emergency triage or last-minute scrambling, it’s no wonder you avoid them.
Instead, build a new ritual:
Choose one quiet time each week (15–30 minutes)
Light a candle. Make coffee. Do anything that makes it feel like you
Review three simple things:
– What came in
– What went out
– What needs attention next week
Use a notebook or template—not an overwhelming app
End with a 2-sentence reflection: What felt aligned? What didn’t?
This isn’t about mastery. It’s about building a rhythm.
Step 3: Focus on One Area of Reconnection at a Time
Avoidance doesn’t disappear all at once. Start with the area that feels most accessible—not necessarily the most urgent.
Ideas:
Start tracking your spending for 30 days—just to observe
Look at your credit score without reacting to it
Review your subscriptions and cancel what’s no longer serving you
Open all unopened financial emails and delete what’s outdated
Create a single list of your debts (no payoff plan—just visibility)
Set up calendar reminders for due dates and review points
Don’t try to fix everything. Just make one part visible. Then another.
Step 4: Choose a Financial Focus Word for the Month
Sometimes goals are too big. Instead, choose a single intention that shapes how you interact with your money.
Examples:
Clarity
Steadiness
Visibility
Trust
Restoration
Consistency
Write it down. Post it where you pay bills or check your accounts. Let it guide your tone—not just your actions.
Step 5: Build a “Calm Money” System, Not a Perfect One
Avoidance often comes from systems that feel too rigid, too overwhelming, or too technical.
Instead, create a simple system built around calm:
One place where you track big-picture numbers (spreadsheet, journal, digital dashboard)
Weekly or bi-weekly check-ins—no rules, just review
A “money day” once a month for bills, planning, and light forecasting
A physical or digital space for receipts, statements, or notes
Optional: a financial co-working session with a trusted friend or partner
The system isn’t the goal. Calm is. Make the structure reflect that.
Step 6: Redefine What It Means to Be “Good With Money”
You don’t need to:
Love Excel
Track every penny
Optimize your investments
Follow FIRE
Eat rice and beans
Hit six figures by 30
Being “good with money” can mean:
You check in weekly without spiraling
You make values-aligned decisions
You have margin for the unexpected
You feel a growing sense of self-trust
You’re not afraid to look anymore
That’s what financial wellbeing actually looks like.
Final Thought
Avoidance isn’t failure. It’s protection. But the longer you avoid, the more it costs—not just in money, but in peace.
The antidote isn’t shame. It’s reconnection.
Start small. Start gently. But start. Because the moment you stop avoiding is the moment you begin rebuilding trust—in your numbers, and in yourself.
— Sloane MacRae
